miércoles, 29 de abril de 2020



Task 4 – Narrative

        







Students:
Daniel Parra Cruz - Cod: 1.014.307.285
Julie Natalia Cardenas Reina - Cod: 1.015.444.259
Ana Lucia Villa - Cod: 1.045.025.345
Deisy Vasquez Acosta- Cod: 53.083.612
Claudia Victoria Oviedo – Cod: 52.155.712















    Universidad Nacional Abierta y a Distancia - UNAD
    Escuela: Ciencias de la Educación -ECEDU
Cristian Quintero – Course Tutor
English Literature 551014_4
May 8/ 2020



INTRODUCTION 



This blog contains five science fiction stories, created by students from UNAD, as an activity of the course English Literature. There, every student tested the acquired knowledge about narrative. These little stories show creativity, imagination and in some way, expose a theme that would be within the individual being that we are.

The students fulfilling the established parameters to form a fictional story created their own interesting narratives and led the reader to plunge into a non-existent situation. Ingenuity played an indispensable role that is remarkable in every line written.




The stories develop themes such as:

~ The friendships that can be created in the midst of adverse situations.

~ The family and how it can be affected by decisions that seek a particular benefit.

~ The dissatisfaction of the human being and the regret caused by making capricious decisions.

~ The destruction that human beings can cause by avarice.

~ A faithful friendship that through determination and teamwork, achieves great things, like saving the Earth.



INDIVIDUAL FICTION SHORT STORIES


A Real Whim or Feeling






For 17 years, Yaid has proposed to his wife to travel to mercury at the end of each year, to which his wife answers dubiously:

 "And how long will we stay?"

Yaid was born in a hot place, located on just a planet in the middle of the sun and Venus, more precisely on Mercury

Yaid lives on earth with his wife and daughters, but his birth family is 80,000 kilometers away. So every year they travel to this planet almost turned into fire, but after a couple of weeks his wife feels that she cannot bear the heat, she disagrees with some food practices that go against her environmental ideals, the inhabitants of mercury They steal animals from planet earth through a night extraction system and feed on them. Before making each trip at the end of the year, Yaid and his wife agree with the times, it is always two weeks because she and her two daughters are Earthlings and cannot bear one more day of such strong changes in the environment. She knows that if she does not put these conditions, Yaid would stay to live permanently in that place and they would die a short time later.

There was a very particular experience a few years ago because Yaid had not been able to travel for a long time due to different situations, so when they decided to travel, the happiness of the man to see his parents and brothers were so great that time passed and he did not want to return, the Very worried wife insisted that they return, but he did not, he told his wife to go alone with the daughters, because he wanted to enjoy the new one that Mercury had, among which was a very modern satellite that they had sent from Jupiter to start interacting with other extraterrestrial beings.

The wife by obligation had to return to Planet Earth with her daughters, it was a really long time and she was honestly calmer not having the obligation to go to that planet every year. But she could not hide her husband's lack and without a doubt, despite everything, he also loved his home. On that occasion, Yaid returned to earth and with great sadness said goodbye to his mom and dad, but with great emotion to return to his beloved wife and daughters.

Seeing this absurd separation, the wife received him with all the love and promised that they would go more often to visit her family but keeping with the times.


As usual, the family traveled a year ago for the four of their vacations, which coincided in December. Every millennium the sun turns three more times in a customary rotation, and they did not remember this, which is why Yaid asked his wife to let him stay one more day, leaving the limit of the exposure of his wife and daughters and in actually it was three more days.

The couple's annual discussion is over ……. And Yaid stayed to live permanently on Mercury

The wife and daughters died after fulfilling the wish of their loved one.

This family ended after struggling for 17 years with this permanent situation of whim or real feeling.

Deisy Vasquez 



Lupe's Experience


 ¨The life can be luminous, except when the subconscious speaks to you so as not to fall into a trap. ¨

Lupe was a very happy and cheerful girl, who went with her mother to a town where they have a house very close to a river, where one day walking along the shore she found a large stone with a shiny material, when she came to her to pick it up, I hear a low voice saying continuously.

Lupe, don't do it, don't pick up that stone, it's dangerous ... When Lupe surprised, she wanted to find out where that voice came from, she discovered that near the ground she heard that voice, she discovered that it was a cricket and she looked at it shocked and asked.

Who are you?

The cricket replied, I am Rasputin and I am here to help you.

Lupe responds: how to help me, from what or who?

Rasputin: of the curse that stone has if you pick it up.

Lupe says: OH yes why ?.

Rasputin says: that stone has been there for years and it shines a lot to attract children so that the river can take them away, because several years ago a child was taken by the river and was never found, which people say the river loves take the child to replace the one who died in the river.


Lupe says: I don't want him to take me what I should do to end this curse here in town. Rasputin says: There is only one way to end the spell, you must look for a red rose and pinch your finger and let the blood fall on the stone and then you must put fire on it to end the spell. Lupe says: that must be painful!!!! Rasputin says:! you must do it but it will keep taking children !!!.

Lupe: the next day I got up early to get the rose in a nearby neighbor's garden and went to the river to do the ritual and being there about to do the ritual of what I had to do, I heard a roar that seemed as if the The river was going to overflow, which she ran to her house and the faint of the road passed out, after a long time she woke up at her mother's house with a stone in her hand dark and gray, because the metal had disappeared. The mother, a little worried about the facts, has decided to prepare an apple pie for her daughter so that she can enjoy it in the company of her friend Rasputin and thus invite him to her house whenever Lupe goes on vacation to the town called Valle Hermoso.


Rasputin says: Friend, I thought you had lost, you gave us a great scare, but with your courage and ritual, the spell seems to have disappeared.

Lupe says: Rasputin I owe everything to you. Thank you for being my friend and I hope to always share my upcoming holidays with you.


And colorin colorado this story is over.


Claudia Victoria Oviedo 




The Unreal Love 


“Be careful what you wish, you don’t always get what you want and you will have to work hard to get it”, said a lugubrious voice, that was last thing Hanna heard, when she saw to like she lost her Brand-new husband, well he was facinating, strong as oak,  ljght eyes as the blue of the sky  and his perfect smile, that every time she saw him she felt like dying, she felt to faded with a puffand when he kissed her it was as if a northern lights appeared around her and fly over the fluffy clouds, while her heart was beating as hard as the ticking of a new watch.

Toguether Hanna and Ray, they lived in a parallel world called Heatrow, where they have everything, apparently everything they need to be happy, to live as a couple all their unreal life,already they lived to the surplus of the real world called Trowhea,because in their livingroom they had a parallel Wall to past to this real world and all days they saw them do their doubles from dawned until nightfall, the daily routine, their job, their Friends, the exercise they practiced, their food and the people with whom they meet, every day Hanna and Ray wondered what it would be like to go to the other side of the wall, live like your doubles lived, because they were caught in the unreal world, dark and monotonous, becasue they were always in the shadow of their peers; Ray prefer to forget that questions and to live the momento they were Ok, toguether and happy, but Hanna thought different and for she wasn’t easy foget that questions.

Hanna knew it was impossible for Ray to do something or it will leave her just trying to move into the real world and live normal, so she decide with all the pain in her soul, like when you lose a loved one, she risks breaking trought that wallthat prevent him from knowing and living something that was not her, she leaves the love of her life to the one who made her vanish and fly over the fluffy clouds, for she dicovered the real world in the oyher side of the wall, she knew he would see her since they always saw their doubles on the other side so he knew she would be okey. Hanna woke up one day and she prepared for Ray a potion which he gave it for his breakfast like every morning, he took the drink and then there was a rumble that Hanna freaked out, but she keep in mind Ray had fallen like a Stone and was lying on the ground, Hanna gave him a Kiss that lasted centuries, in his blood red lips and she touched his face saying that she come back son while a fragile tear fell on her face, as fragile as when you blow a dandelion.




Hanna dressed, she stood in front of the magic wall, she took a deep breath and she stood your hand over the wall, so, in one fell swoop she was sucked into the dark hole, alone, with a dense fog and she herd several voices, she didn’t know where she was, she just knew that it wasn’t on the other side of her wall where everithing was real, because she didn’t see their doubles and her husband too, so between the darkness, the voices and the solitude of that place she began to walk aimlessly, trying to find a way out or a light to guide her; Hanna walked for hours but days had passed for her, until she saw a dark light but shiny inside of the same darkness, she walked and walked until she got close enough and necessary to listen with aa glommy and mocking voice “This is what you were looking for” “ This you wanted to see, Hanna”,Hanna couldn’t see anything until two large and bright windows opened in front of her and she began to show her reality.

In a one window, Ray was the love of his life, He had already woke up because many days had passed and he was desperate looking for her among what he could, while in the other window showed her doubles in their normal lives doing what they always did without having any idea that they had a world behind the wall; Hanna don’t understand what happend, if she was to be in Trowhe, again the voice spoke and said “ You thought it was just touching the wall and taking a life that is not yours, because you are wrong Hanna, what you see in these two windows is your reality”, she entered into a deep and non-stop crying, she began to hit the windows but only a loud sound bounced off his own blows, her screams were not heard in the other side of the windows and she was like this for hours, until her hands were hurt and as rivers blood began to flow, she sat and she keep crying, while she did questions to the darkness what happen? Why do not they listen to me?, Why can not enter? Please I want to get out of here; finally the voice answer “Hanna, you had it all and now there isn’t way to go back to the past and is not possible send yourself to the future that you wanted to know, you must see through these windows your life”.

Julie Cardenas Reina 



The Temple of the Prophecies

In 2034 a group of archaeologists, scientists, and engineers came together to build a high-tech research station on the planet Uranus, called The Madox Center. There was found a huge cave with engraved walls and humanoid bones, apparently original inhabitants of Uranus. The researchers who carried out the excavations, discovered that the cave was actually an ancient temple and fascinated, they continued with the studies to decipher such engravings.

To ensure the arrival of provisions and auxiliary personnel at The Madox Center, The Portal was always in operation; a command center located on planet Earth, where the liaison team operated and supervised a device that allowed teleportation between both planets.

After 10 years, in 2044 Dr. John Miller, chief in charge of the investigations and his colleagues, discover the terrible meaning of the engravings, and immediately, everyone is called to a meeting.

- Thanks for coming so quickly, I am Dr. Miller and I have gathered you here to inform you that after years of research, we have deciphered the temple engravings; unfortunately the meaning is not encouraging...The engravings refer to a prophecy, this indicates that every 4000 years a gigantic rock engulfed in flames hit the planet Earth, we know that it refers to a meteorite; what is truly alarming is that the prophecy reveals that this is the year in which such a meteorite will fall.

Immediately everyone panicked and in the middle of the commotion, Dr. Lucy Evans, a faithful friend of Dr. Miller, entered the room and with determination she said:

- We must be calm, it is likely that within the temple we can find a weapon that destroy the meteorite, that is why we must continue with the excavations.

One of the researchers exclaimed enraged:

- No way! We need to use The Portal and return to planet Earth; it took us ten years to decipher the information, it is impossible to find a solution to avoid such a catastrophe, we must return and stay with our families the remaining time.

Silence invaded the room and after a moment, Dr. Miller replied:

- It is true, I will not force anyone to stay, you are all free to return to your families, so I will contact the liaison team to prepare The Portal, but I will stay, I know that I can find a way to avoid this, after years of research here, I feel that this is my purpose.

After the meeting, the personnel began with the evacuation while Dr. Miller remained motionless in the room. At that moment Dr. Evans approached him, and with a smile said:

- John, I won't let you save the world alone, so I'll stay with you and we'll find a solution together.

Both doctors worked tirelessly for a month in the temple trying to discover some indication to avoid the catastrophe; they wanted with all their might to find a way to save all those good people and things that still remained on Earth. Finally they found a clue; one of the walls had engraved drawings and signs, these referred to a great blue stone that would be rebelled on time to be deposited in the sacred scepter; the weapon to destroy the great red stone.

John and Lucy were exhausted from touring the temple without finding the holy weapon, so they fell fast asleep. Suddenly, the satellites identified a huge meteorite traveling at high speed toward Earth and the alert was issued in every corner of the Madox Center; John and Lucy woke up quickly, at the same time a strong tremor shook them and they saw a huge door emerge from the ground.

Lucy exclaimed:

- ¡John, it's a secret chamber, there must be the blue stone!

Both went to the door, immediately they saw a protruding circle and Lucy pressed it hard, the chamber began to open but it only remained open while the circle was pressed. Inside the chamber they saw a golden scepter and a trunk, so John ran inside; when he opened the trunk he found a huge blue stone and shouted excited:

- ¡Lucy, this is the weapon, we found it!

Lucy replied desperately:

- Now you must place it on the golden scepter ¡Hurry up John!

John tried to move it, but the stone was too heavy and he could barely hold it. The tremors were getting louder and the alert indicated that the meteorite was about to hit the Earth. At that moment, John looked at Lucy and said out loud:

- I know that look, don't do it Lucy, just go and save yourself before this place collapses.

Lucy exclaimed with tears in her eyes:

- ¡Shut up, I'll go help you and whatever happens we'll save the earth together. Is this why you and I stay! ¿Right?.

Lucy ran into the chamber while the door closed and she joined forces with John to lift the stone and place it on the golden scepter; immediately, an intense blue light was projected on the meteorite making it disappear. After the threat was totally eliminated, the light faded and the door opened again. As soon as the alarm stopped, John and Lucy got up removing the debris from their bodies and together they left the temple.

John looked at Lucy and squeezing her hand said:

- We did it Lucy, the human race has another opportunity to continue living and although there are people who do not deserve it, I want to think that we ran the risks only to preserve and the goodness of the Eart.

Lucy replied:

- That's right. Now, what if we take a long vacation, Hawaii is a good option ¿what do you say?...I know we still have a lot to discover on this planet, but I think Uranus will not go anywhere.

John said:

- Sounds good to me, now let's go.

And so, these good friends activated The Portal and returned to planet Earth as heroes.


Ana Lucia Villa



Lie and Lot

It all started when Lie woke up earlier than usual, he looked through the window, but he did not see Lot, his neighbor. When Lie was eight, a family (in which Lot belonged to) from the unmentionable planet moved to his dwarf planet named “Kaputt.” Since then, Lie used to check on Lot every morning, it had passed 12 years and Lie had never stopped checking on Lot, even though they never talked and Lie was not even sure if Lot knew about his existence, Lot was sure about two things: they were the same age and Lie had feelings for Lie.

The main reason why Lie was that interested in Lot was because of his appearance. When Lie first opened his eyes, he started wondering why he was that handsome, that tall, that brawny, why his eyes were that blue, why his eyebrows were that bushy, why his nose was that pointy and his lips were that provocative. Lie asked his parents about it, and they told him that they had designed his face as they wanted him to be. Since Lie knew that, he started feeling like he was a lie, instead, when Lie saw Lot, Lie knew Lot was real since he did not look as perfect as everyone he had met before.

Lie jumped out of the bed and asked his parents if they knew about the family from the unmentionable planet; however, they did not know anything. Lie got dressed and went out to find some answers. He started his hunt by knocking the door, it was a new family living there and they looked exactly like everyone in Kaputt. Lie asked the new facility about the previous family living there and they told him that they had not even met them. Lie came up with an excuse and asked for permission to check on Lot’s him, he said that Lot had borrowed his Ortipoot that is a tool made of gas that everyone is Kaputt uses to clean their wings (they have wings on their heads).

Lie went to Lot’s room, but it was almost empty; nevertheless, the wall was stripped, it had too many lines drawn, he counted them, and they were over four thousand lines. After some minutes of thinking, Lot realized that it had been the number of days that Lot had been in Kaputt. Lot was about to go, but he saw a piece of paper that said, “Run as fast as you can”. As soon as he read that, everything when dark, Kaputt did not have sunlight but just artificial. Lot was not able to see anything; he was screaming for help, but it seemed like no one was listening. Lot stayed there, frightened, it had passed six hours when he listened a voice asking for him: “Lot, Lot, are you there”, Lot replied indicating he was in the last room and he saw a lantern rapidly approaching him. “Here you are”, he listened, it was him, Lot.

Once lot overcame Lie, Lot started explaining to him that the people who inhabit the unmentionable planet were humans and they had sent him and his family to look out Kaputt citizens and get information about how they lived. Lot explained that humans want to attack Kaputt because they wanted to steal their genes, people from the unmentionable planet were so vain that they wanted to be as beautiful as them. Humans had discovered a way to intrude into Kaputt's electricity system and they sabotaged it, so at that precise moment, one spaceship full of humans was on its way to kaput to start the war. For 12 years, Lot had seen Lie as much ad Lie had checked on Lot, Lot had discovered people on Kaputt were good and they did not deserve to be punished for his beauty, besides, he discovered their beauty was artificial.

Lie and Lot began to design a plan to stop their mission and save Kaputt which consisted of teleporting kaput to attack the humans with Ortipoot arrows, so they will not be hurt but they could be stopped.

Once they teleported to kaput, they asked all the inhabitants of kaput to help them to launch the arrows, it was there when the war began. They fought for several hours; however, when humans were stopped, Lie and Lot stood in front and explained humans they wanted something that was not real, and that miserliness was going to destroy a fair planet. Humans understood and they decided to stop the war.

In the end, Lie and Lot stayed together, now they live in Kaputt and they go from planet to planet fighting against any kind of evil.


Daniel Parra




FEEDBACK GIVEN 



  • Daniel Parra 
Ø  Hello Deisy, I was reading your story and it was very interesting, I loved it.

I have some comments for you: 

- Prompt: You explored a new universe in which people can live in other planets, which is perfect since it must have fiction. 

- Organization: It was clear, it was a beginning, a difficult situation, and then the final. 

- Plot: It was interesting to read. 

- Characters: Have several characters (Yaid, his wife and daugthers)

- Point of View: Your point of view about the planet was clear. 

- Grammar and Mechanics: You used clear vocabulary and it was not difficult to understand. 

- Size: This is the only this you need to work in, since it has around 320 words, and it must have more than 500.


Thank you for reading, great job!




  • Deisy Vasquez 

Ø  Dear Claudia, 

it was a pleasure to read a short story, it was excited and I was scared.

I imagined the stage all time, and I  thought that Lupe would die, because she would fall into the trap of a supposed friend.

Thanks for using your imagination and sharing it with us.

I see you properly used the steps to create those kinds of stories.

Best regard, 


Ø  Dear Julieth,


Thanks for sharing your story with us.

It is story full poetry and mystery, it is very interesting, always we want to keep reading to know what will happen. it shows us that sometimes it's not so convenient to be curious. The prudence should be a value of its own in our lives.

Promt: Shows us that curiosity and anxiety about wanting to be like others sometimes brings irreparable consequences, which bring with them deep pain.
Organization: The story is very well organized, it takes into account a beginning, a knot, and an outcome, which allows a clear picture of the situation.
Plot: It has a history, full of fiction and adventure in time, parallel worlds and ideas that many may have had at some point in their lives.
Characters: The story shows characters from common life, a wife Hanna, a husband Ray. common family life, but in somewhat strange times.
Setting: Parallel world, divided by a wall that has a lot of darkness, curiosity, and fear.
Point of view:  It is a story that includes love, poetry, curiosity, it is very interesting when you do not want to stop reading especially the end, it has a lot of creativity.
Grammar and Mechanics:  The story had some misspelled words, which caused something very small to be lost in the narration, but even so, the idea was captured.
Size: Meets the minimum number of words required

Best regard,


Ø  Hello Ana,
Around here something to complete

These little stories show creativity, imagination and in some way, expose a theme that would be within the individual being that we are.

The students fulfilling the established parameters to form a fictional story created their own interesting narratives and led the reader to plunge into a non-existent situation.

Ingenuity played an indispensable role that is remarkable in every line written.

Best regard,


Ø  Hello Daniel,

Your story has a variety of situations, where they include vanity, espionage, curiosity, war, bravery and this makes it have various contexts.

Touching the subject of other planets is truly a fictional story, although the possibility of some kind of life cannot be completely ruled out.

You meet the parameters required for the creation of your story, such as; Some characters: Lie and Lot

The story has an unreal plot

The extension is in accordance with the number of words required.

Congratulations




  • Julie Cardenas Reina


Ø  Hello Dear Claudia 
I read your fiction short story , I like this is magical and tender and leave a moral of a fable because is necessary that all listen the internal voice that allow us to avoid bad things.  You can use a spell and hex for give a form in your story, is possible that you check this part " Lupe: the next day I got up early to get the rose in a nearby neighbor's garden and went to the river to do the ritual and being there about to do the ritual of what I had to do, I heard a roar that seemed as if the The river was going to overflow, which she ran to her house and the faint of the road passed out, after a long time she woke up at her mother's house with a stone in her hand dark and gray, because the metal had disappeared.", because you refer in a first person and this part is necessary to refer in the third person in this case she.

On the other hand I think according to this aspects:

-Promt: is clear the moral question, when you shouldn't do certain things.
-Organization: This story have the 3 part important and is clear identify start, knot and outcome, however is possible that organize when the characters speak, separate the dialogue that each one have.
-Plot: This have a interest argument for develop the story.
-Characters: Include a special characters, because use the imagination for create this characters.
-Setting: Your describe the place and the town where lived and the stage where happened the story.
-Point of view: Is clear of point of view and the story explain your idea.
-Grammar and Mechanics: You use very good the grammar is possible organize when the characters speak, separate the dialogue that each one have.
-Size: You have the minimum words and this is ok.


Thanks For your attention and have a nice day  



Ø  Hello Dear Deisy


I like your fiction short story, when I read this is possible to imagine the characters, the place and the home where live Yaid, and the problem that his wife and daugthers may suffer, the different option that they have but is difficult, in the other hand is possible to imagine the unbearable heat in Mercury and this people can live there.

Add is possible recognize the important points that you fiction short story has:

-Promt: Because explain is a big moral question that is A real whim or feeling.
-Organization: Include various paragraphs but is possible identify what is the beginning, middle and end.
-Plot: The argument is interesting because it is the life of your family and your home.
-Characters: You include the enough for explain the story.
-Setting: This story have a stage and develop.
-Point of view:  Is possible understand what is the decision and is probably that you think same.
-Grammar and Mechanics: Use the correct words to explain the story and use a correctly grammar and punctuation.
-Size: You correct this part and include the minimum of words.

Thanks for your attention and have a nice day



  • Ana Lucia Villa

Ø  Thanks for sharing your story, personally I really liked it; I interpret it as a clear example of the saying "You don't appreciate what you have till you lose it". I dare say that human beings are always dissatisfied, even having wonderful things and people, at some point in our lives we can make deliberate decisions that can ruin us and sadly, it is in that moment of sadness and regret when we really appreciate what we had.

Regarding the structure, I think that the story has a clear beginning, middle and end and it does not exceed the limit of 1000 words. The plot is interesting to me; grammatically the content is fine and I can understand it, the characters are well developed, I especially like the way that you describe the characteristics and feelings of the characters and I think the story conveys a strong message about dissatisfaction and regret of making capricious decisions.


Great work!

Ø  Dear Daniel.
Your story is great, it was a very creative way to expose one of the defects or weaknesses of the human being, the avarice, and how can it cloud people's judgment to the point of hurting innocents to achieve something. At the same time you exalt the importance of friendship and how it can help us to face difficult situations.

I think your story is very well developed, you do not exceed the limit of 1000 words, the grammar is good and, for me, the plot is very interesting; the message of the story about solving problems by talking is very valuable.

Nice job!


Ø  Cordial greeting.
Claudia, thank you very much for your help!
I want to comment something ... The blog does not allow me to edit anything;
I thought I could add my story to the stories entry, but no, I have to create a new entry and the idea is that the blog has a sequence,
1. Cover
2. Introduction
3. All stories
4. All comments

So, if we all create new entries every time that we have to post something, the Blog will not be ordered ... ¿Is it possible that only one person organizes this? (And also order the images)

Let's consider the roles.

I remain I remain attentive.

Thanks!



  • Claudia Victoria Oviedo 

Ø  Dear Daniel:
I was reading your story it had a lot of fiction and I knew the plot of the story, but I consider that the story is very long and a little confusing in the knot of the story, but the wording and the characters are well defined and structured, it would only be to create it a shorter one according to the parameters suggested in the guide.



Regards


Ø  Dear Julie:

I read your story and I loved it, it has suspense, love and uncertainty, it makes you transport with short dialogue and trust, it is a true story that involves the reader and takes him into the story, because one wants to know what continues to happen in each paragraph , I congratulate you very good story from my point of view..

I also want to let you know colleagues that I have already posted my comments on the blog.

thank you all for your contributions


Cordially